What's on your back burner? Using dormant desire to relight your fire. An interview with Albert Pellissier

Craig and Albert unpack why we trade opportunity for security, how to name hidden fears, and a simple practice that turns truth into momentum—without quitting your day job.

Highlights:

·       Fear & the myth of security vs. God’s calling

·       The “already doing it” exercise (and why it works)

·       Say it out loud: truth shrinks lies

·       Micro-actions that build holy momentum

·       Identity shifts through empty-nest seasons

·       Stewarding your current craft like David with the sheep

Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome + prayer
03:10 Crisis, course-corrections, and calling
10:45 Fear, security, and “opportunity for security”
16:20 The Backburner exercise (step-by-step)
24:30 Why voicing fears breaks their power
31:00 Micro-actions & divine momentum
38:15 Don’t quit—steward what’s in your hand
44:20 Resources & how to connect with Albert

Scripture references: Eph. 2:10; Phil. 4:6–9; John 8:32

Resources:

• Albert’s site/book: BackburnerBook.com
• What’s On Your Backburner? Using Dormant Desire to Relight Your Fire https://tinyurl.com/2ypek27s
• Og Mandino, The Greatest Miracle in the World https://tinyurl.com/ysmedtfy
• https://craigwalkercoaching.com/home
• Five Lies Christian Men Believer That Keep Them Stuck https://craigwalkercoaching.com/5lies

Enjoying the podcast? Follow on your favorite app and leave a 5-star rating. Your rating helps others discover a Christ-centered path to purpose. Thanks!

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and prayer
• 3:10 Crisis, course-corrections, and calling
• 10:45 Fear, security, and “opportunity for security”
• 16:20 The Backburner exercise (step-by-step)
• 24:30 Why voicing fears breaks their power
• 31:00 Micro-actions & divine momentum
• 38:15 Don’t quit—steward what’s in your hand
• 44:22 Resources & how to connect with Albert

Transcript

 (00:06)
Good morning. My name is Craig Walker and you have joined us here on the Trulia Masterpiece Podcast. Thanks so much for being with us. ⁓ I am so delighted this morning. have Albert Pellisier with me. Albert is the author of What's On Your Backburner. Albert is a speaker and a life coach as well. And I think you're going to learn a lot from Albert today. ⁓ His book is what I'm particularly interested in talking about. So

Let's get started this morning. Albert, thanks for joining us. Thanks, Craig. I'm excited to be here this morning. I want to pray for you, for myself, and for our listeners today. And then I've got some questions for you. Okay. Father in heaven, we bow to you in the name of Jesus. God, I know that there are people listening today that they need exactly what's going to be said. They're stuck. They want to move and their feet are in concrete.

Father, I pray today that you will say words. ⁓ You'll give us the words to say that would help them to break free. Others, Lord, or wrestling with the idea is, is there really a purpose to my life? Father, I pray today that they discover there is. That you have a calling for their life and you planned it before the world began. Father, I pray for those that are encouraged and just need to hear again, God, you're for me.

I pray they hear it today, Lord. So I want to thank you for this time. Thank you for Albert giving his time and his life to make a difference for your kingdom. Bless him today and for all that listen, we pray in the mighty name of Jesus. Thank you, Father. Amen. Amen. Well, Albert, thanks again for joining us. I know our people would love to get to know you. So tell us a little bit about yourself and we'll go on from there. Okay.

So pretty much I would say I'm a lifelong entrepreneur. I've always been in business for myself.

That doesn't mean it's always gone well. I actually have probably learned the greatest lessons and had my biggest transitions when things weren't going well. And one of those actually led to writing the book and mentoring other people and coaching and the whole life really that I'm living now. And so I'm grateful sometimes for the downturns ⁓ to shake me up, you know, and get me moving on what my real purpose is.

Denture Easter, you talk about you discovered your book out of that. You think it's easier to turn a ship when it's moving than when it's sitting in the harbor? You know, it's easier to turn your ship, you know, when it's moving. ⁓ But a lot of times we won't. We'll just settle with the direction where it's heading. I find a lot of times it takes a crisis to go up to the helm and decide that you're really going to do something different and turn that ship.

You know, it's so easy just to kind of accept. It's like, ⁓ I say people are blessed if they're intolerant, you know, if you're, if you, if you're tolerant, you're willing to tolerate whatever the situation you're, you're in, it's really almost a curse. You stay on the wrong path too long. And, sometimes, and I've found in my life, it seems like God does come down once every 12 years, almost like clockwork and

smacks me around a little bit and says, you've been going on the wrong path a little too long and sets me straight again. And then I redirect and then I find that over time with at my age, a handful of course corrections. I finally feel like I'm going in the right direction. Awesome. Before we get too far into it, are you married? I am married, 35 years and three kids. Three kids, how old are your children?

My oldest is 27 and 24 and my youngest is 19. So I'm a fresh empty nester actually. I remember that season becoming an empty nester. A friend of mine came alongside of me and said, ⁓ and he's a little ahead of me and he had become an empty nester already and worked through it and I was getting ready for it. And he said, Craig, a change is coming. I just want you to know a change is coming. I don't know how it's going to impact you, but I promise you it's going to impact your life.

How you respond to it's up to you, but it is going to change. It's going to be a big change. My wife and I, had six children. They were a big part of our life and we did have to work through it. It wasn't like a piece of cake. It wasn't, it was hard for us. How about you guys? Yeah, the same thing. We weren't looking forward to it, know, because we've been so family oriented and really involved in our kids' lives, you know, and so it is bittersweet. You raise them and...

On one hand, you're happy, they're out there trying to find their place in the world. But on another hand, know, hey, they're all gone now. All that work and effort we put into it and we're both sitting here in an empty house. Yeah, are we wondering what we're gonna do with all the extra time that we have? the good news is they're relatively close and they come back often and we're so grateful for their visits.

As a kid, you don't really realize how much your parents are gonna appreciate just an afternoon visit or coming to have lunch or coming to have dinner. But we've really, they do come by quite a bit. So it's a blessing. We had six children and we had three and then a 10 year gap. I just thought I didn't know the Lord when we had our first three and I made a lot of money. I worked for GM and I knew I could retire after 30 years with GM and I started when I was like 21.

And I said, we're going to retire like 51 and travel the world. just, and just, it was all about us. And then I got saved and we had, had said no more kids. And then I kind of thought, well, I think God loves kids. And so we opened that part of our life up again. And, and, but 10, was 10 more years and then God blessed us with three more children. And so by the time our last one was born, we said, there ain't going to be no empty nest syndrome when they're gone, that was a lie.

I know. It set me up for a difficulty because I'm expecting this to be a piece of cake. And it really was a great adjustment. We'd spent our lives saying, what do you want to do? And she'd say, I don't know. What do you want to do? And it was always, I don't worry about the kids. I've got something that we've got to do with them anyway. And then all of sudden it wasn't. It was just the two of us. And we had to work through that. Yeah. And we're just fresh into it. Our youngest daughter was home for the summer and now she's left.

to go back to college for her sophomore year. And so that was nice, kind of get revisiting that, but I know it's not gonna be many more summers she's gonna return as she kind of figures out what she's doing and where she's going. And anyway, my wife and I both keep busy. She has an antique store and I'm really passionate about this work that I'm doing. And so I think it's just gonna give me time to do more of it, honestly.

You know, it would be, I'm having to resist right now jumping into this identity and purpose in life thing because part of our issue was ⁓ probably more so for my wife than for me because she had been a mother for, gosh, when the last one was gone, 36 years. And so that had been her identity. And then he had to change. And she was a pastor's wife and I retired that same year from being a pastor. So she had a lot to work through.

So was really difficult. So I want to come back to you and ask, you know, you've been an entrepreneur, is it most of your life, would you say? Yeah, my entire life. I've never actually had a job other than, you know, summer jobs, went back in high school or college. I got out of college. I had already started a small little business and I just kept doing that, you know, from my early twenties. And yeah, I've just figured it out since then.

Yeah. And just looking at that, does that kind of give you an idea of who you are? didn't have, no, no one had to tell you Albert go get a job or don't get a job, start a business. one, did anybody have to tell you do that? Or did you just, it just come natural to you? You know, here's an interesting story. I hadn't thought about this in a while, but

I was like that in high school, mowing lawns and babysitting the neighbors. And when my parents would have a garage sale, would go get a box of frozen fudgesicles and sell those, right? And when I went to LSU in the early eighties, I kind of really bought into the whole college, get a career. And I had really forgotten about my entrepreneurial roots.

And I had planned on becoming an electrical engineer. like computers and you know, I was all brand new at the time. It's hard to believe, right? Yeah. And about two years in, my roommate who had gone to high school with me, he said, Albert, you know what I miss about you? Back when we were in high school, you were always coming up with these business schemes and things like that. And when he said that in that moment, I had really realized that I had completely bought in to the whole

I want to say college brainwashing, you know, that I was supposed to do it a different way. And he really, I have to give him credit for rekindling, you know, the memory of, ⁓ wow. I said to him, my response back was, I miss that about myself too. And I didn't even realize that I had kind of allowed my direction and purpose to kind of be co-opted by the culture of college. And it was the beginning of, ⁓

Like the first thing I did was I bought some plastic cups with sayings on them, you know, to sell for 50 cents or whatever. And that really got me going again. So it's important, you you bring this up. Sometimes you do forget what you're supposed to be doing and how you're supposed to be doing it. And you adopt other people's ideas or, you know, their definition of success. I do think that's a good thing for a lot of people.

their definition of success and their ideas of who you should be and what you should do with your life. I think probably a lot of people listening have that bent, that calling ⁓ to be an entrepreneur, but there are a lot of others that they don't, but I don't, that doesn't really matter. If you're not called to be an entrepreneur, you still have a specific niche, specific purpose for your life that God is kind of drawing you into, but you can still miss it.

And what do you think the, I'm just going to stop here. So I say, well, I'm thinking, what do you think the biggest challenge is to being yourself? Well, obviously, you know, it is, it's always fear. ⁓ it's, it's, and there's a reason for it too. And this is really one of the things that I go heavily into in my book because, know, here we're talking about, I was an entrepreneur, right? But it turned out that wasn't really my calling, you know, itself. And it took.

Very similar to you, except the fact that you kind of had your awakening, what, at 25 years old? Well, at first, one of my first awakenings, yeah. Is that kind of when you realized that the corporate path you were on was really not what was gonna really make up the full direction of your life? How old were you when you said, hmm, I don't think this is the path for me? Yeah, I was 25. I had just trusted Christ and...

And because of that, just kind of a new awakening that there's more to life than just living for the dollar and living for a great future. And I woke up to the fact that my life can matter. I can matter to other people and I can matter for the kingdom of God. And that wasn't 25, that's my first real awakening. So for me, I would say it happened in my late forties. you know, so I did spend 20 plus years

you know, selling advertising and then got into real estate and then got into the hair salon business. And I was chasing the dollar as well. And it was really when my hair salon started to fail. It was kind of a dark day. I didn't really understand what was going wrong with it. It was doing well for several years. And then all of a sudden just had people leaving, moving away, moving out and

it went from profitable to just barely break even. And I walked in one day and one of my largest tenants in there said, Albert, know, they saw me taking a drink at the water fountain. They said, when you get a minute, you know, come see us. And I just, knew that sounded bad. man, they never say this. And when I went in there and

They told me they were moving out. They weren't looking for a different place. just something came up and they were my largest tenants. So them moving out was going to be ⁓ putting me in the red. And so I imagine this elaborate over-leveraged business that I had built was gonna just take me down in 25 years of leading up to it was all gonna be wiped out.

And I told them that I was going home to be depressed for the next three days and they're like, you know, don't, you're going to be okay. And I said, well, you know, it's easy for you to say, but I really was just at a loss of what to do and what was going wrong and how to fix it. And so I had this strategy that I would often use was, you know, to go essentially bury my head in the blanket and become so disgusted with myself, you know, drive myself to the bottom.

that even I felt like it was so pathetic that I had to get up and do something about it. And so I would just push myself to the bottom of depression to kind of like reboot and restart again. And so I came home and I went out on my screen porch and I laid in my hammock thinking, okay, I'm gonna start my three day ritual that I've done times before. And maybe about 15, 20 minutes, I just had an epiphany. It's like, you know what?

I don't want to do it like that this time. want to do it a different way. And I walked back inside and said, I'm going to start by looking for something uplifting to read. And I went to a bookshelf. the bookshelf is three shelves filled with various self-help and inspirational books and stuff that I had bought at a book fair seven years before and had not taken a single one off of that shelf. They were just sitting there waiting for me.

And so I picked up, don't know if you, are you familiar with Og Mandino? No. So the book was the greatest miracle in the world. And it was, you know, really, it was a book you knew that you could read in 20 minutes, you know, and that's what I wanted. I wanted a completion, you know? So I got the book and I got to around chapter six. And when I opened it, he said, ⁓ I know why you weep. And he's really speaking as God. That's what he,

His book is like a parable. And so it's really God saying, I know why you weep. You weep for all of your opportunity that you bartered for security. Craig, ⁓ I get goosebumps just as I read that line back to you because I couldn't read another word. I knew in that moment that that's exactly what I had been doing. know, it didn't really.

That line stabbed me in the heart because I knew it was true. Now remember I'm 48 years old, you know, reading this line and just looking back on a life that everything I had done was in pursuit of security. Yeah. Let me pause just for a second because if I asked you what are the main reasons people miss their calling, they get stuck and just in routine and you just, nailed the two that came to my mind. Number one is fear.

Okay, I don't know if I can do that. You know, I might fail all these things that come to our mind. A second one. This is the second one and they go hand in hand. It's the dollar. It's money. You were chasing in your words chasing the almighty dollar. And I just know that we have people listening right now that are saying, my, ⁓ I've done that or I'm doing that and I'm stuck.

They've got to be feeling there's something more to me than this, but I've let fear and maybe it's not to get rich. It's just maybe just to pay the bills. It's the chase of money and ignorance of God has a calling on your life. It is a purpose for you. Would you repeat that line again? And like, this is God talking, let people listen right now, let God speak to you through this line that he spoke to Albert.

I know why you weep. You weep for all of your opportunity that you bartered for security. Wow. That you traded for security. That's rich. Yeah, so you're right. And look, can be, you're right. It may not be getting rich. It can be based on a fear of poverty, you know, of, I know on some level I was trying to outrun just deep seated fears of ⁓ poverty that, know, ironically were accidentally

absorbed by me by a story that my mother told when I was a little kid. And so this kind of really led to my thinking of and understanding of myself. And then when I started working with people, I could see the similarities that a lot of times where the fear comes from, it comes from a lesson that you inadvertently learned in your youth. And, you know, I say a lesson, it can be so mild.

that you are picking up a story or a perspective and it really ingrains into your belief system and you don't realize as an adult that it really has so much power over you. So just to illustrate, my mom and dad were divorced when I was three. And so my mom was a single mother until she remarried my stepfather. Now the good news is her and my stepfather have celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

And he was a great stepdad. was, you know, I don't even call him stepdad. I send him, you know, dad, Father's Day cards and have always thought of him, you know, that way. But in that in-between where my mom was a single mother back in the 60s and women really, there weren't a lot of opportunities to work. She told me a story later on and said, when your brother, you know, you and your brother were small, there was sometimes I had so little money.

that I really could only afford to feed you two and had to go hungry. And I remember crying as a young boy, just, you know, having empathy for my mother. But I wasn't realizing as she told me that story, kind of innocently in a sense, that I would really grab onto a fear of poverty deep in my heart, of not wanting to end up there, you know.

in a situation where I would have to struggle between feeding myself or my wife and myself over my children. And so in some sense, it was motivational. But in another sense, was shackles to kind of stay on the path that I had stayed on for so long. more and more doesn't make that go away.

And, you know, at that time when my salon business was failing like that, you know, I in a nice house and if I stood and looked out the window, was, you know, decent cars parked out front and I had my own business. You know, really what was there to complain about and what my neighbors, you know, even though maybe I looked successful, what they didn't know was in my heart, I was, you know, grouchy and miserable and...

fearful. Yeah, that's what I would call the life of the person that knows there's something else for them and for whatever the reason, whether it's money, fear, another, unmentioned, but they've chosen not to pursue it. It's not the joy life. It's not the happy peace life. It's the other life that's

It's thinking there's something else out there. Well, this would probably be a good place to mention your book, to go back to that, What's on Your Backburner. And I'll let you share the tagline because it reveals a lot about the book. And then we'll go into that. So how did you come about this book, What's on Your Backburner? So the book came, I've spent the last nine years doing men's retreats.

taking a small group of men, usually eight, I found ideal, taking them out, ⁓ renting a place out in nature, in the woods, you know, we're not really camping, it's man glamping. We're renting like an Airbnb, but on a nice facility, rolling hills and, you know, all the things you need. But I started taking them through this process to reveal those hidden stories that people had told them.

as they grew up that have a big hold on them that they're completely unaware of. And so if you're totally unaware of it, you can't do anything and it's operating in the background and it's kind of putting secret obstacles in your way. And you think it's something totally different. And so I left the retreat in, this was in February of 2023. And one of the guys who was there had been to

retreats before and had been my coaching client. And as we left, said, know, Albert, what we just did is the book. And I said, what do you mean? He goes, what the process you just took us through in the last three days, if you could encapsulate that within a book form that people could do it themselves if they wanted to, he says that that would be a very impactful book. And it never would have occurred to me, you know, to make that the book.

But I left there, I started thinking about what he was saying and I knew it was true. And so then I set to work on, ⁓ okay, how do I pull this off? And it is something I always wanted to do. Writing a book was one of the things that was on my bucket list and ⁓ was on- Can you succinctly tell me what does it mean? How did this title, what is the title? What does it mean? So what's on your back burner?

is really asking, know, what is that initiative, that project, that goal, that little project that you've been thinking about, maybe for this last month, maybe for a year, maybe for decades. And you know it's there. Usually when I ask that question in a workshop, I say, what's on your back burner? Almost no one has any problem knowing exactly what I'm talking about. It's something that has

no matter what else you were doing at the time or since or for a career, it's like a little haunting desire. And that's why I say it's using dormant desire to relight your fire is the subheading. It's this dormant desire that has never gone away. No matter whether you've tried it and failed or made some stabs at it and never got traction on it or whether you've never lifted a finger in that area.

It's just this idea you have that is begging, calling in a very quiet way, possibly, that wants to be done, wants you to create it. And so it's really, you know, frankly, it is your calling. So people say, ⁓ I don't know what my calling is. It's this, it's this idea that no matter what, never gets snuffed out. It's like a tiny bit of a flame. It's so, you know, like the pilot on a gas stove. It's just there.

It's not cooking anything. You're speaking my language now. This resonates with my heart and I know it's going to resonate with our listeners. ⁓ Because I tell everybody this is the core scripture of pretty much everything I teach. Ephesians 2 10 says, you are God's masterpiece. And it said, created anew in Christ Jesus to do all the good things that he planned for you long ago. Now considering Ephesians is

a handbook for Christian living. And so he's talking about these things that he created you to long ago. He tells us in verse four of chapter one that he made you before he made the world. And so before God spoke and said, let there be light, he said, let there be Albert, let there be Susan, let there be Tom, Bill and Jose. All of us were in his mind before he made the world.

And these things, these good things were sewn into our soul. So before you were born and then when the doctor smacked you on the bottom and you began to cry, God smiled because he said, yeah, you're going to do those good things that I created you for. So we come into this world with these passions and we wonder where'd they come from? They came from God. He sewed them into you. So that's what you're talking about.

this innate desire that God put in your soul that no matter where you are, what you're doing, it cries out from within. Yeah, and you know it's there and you don't, you know, I'm always amazed that when I ask this question, everybody has an answer. You know, maybe 10 % of the audience will say, you know, I'm not really sure. You know, but if I have...

If I give them enough time, they'll say, well, you know what I really want to do this, that, or the other. And so then my next question is, why do you think you haven't done it? And here's where you'll get what I call damn good reasons. It's like, I don't really have the time right now. I'm not sure if I have the resources to do that. I'm busy with something else. And they're plausible reasons. They sound like excuses. And they're enough.

of a good reason that no one is gonna say, you know, that's all true. I'm sure you'll get to it one day, right? So it's like something that you can let yourself off the hook. Your friends and family will let you off the hook because yeah, who could expect you to do this with all these plausible reasons not to do it? Okay, so here's my awakening moment. It's not the reasons, none of them, even though they're somewhat believable, they're not the reasons that you don't do it.

And so then in the first phase of the book, it's a three-step process. And the first step, and it's a short book, it's an easy read. It's not, you know, hundreds and hundreds of pages. I wanted something that people could get through and do the three exercises and then be on their way. But I hope if I'm doing this in a workshop or a retreat or, you know, in a keynote speech or whatever, then I say, all right, I want you to imagine.

that now whatever that project goal that you've always really dreamed of doing, I want you to put yourself mentally in a place where it's happening, it's done, like you're doing it. The book is written, the animal shelter is up and running, ⁓ you know, whatever you want, a course that you've been wanting to create or wanting to leave your current job and you're in the new, you're now an entrepreneur, say, if you've always wanted to go out on your own. Now that you're doing it, here's what I wanna know.

I want to know what bothers and concerns you now.

and I'll give them a worksheet with a list of 15 blanks on it. And when people start to answer that question, this is when it's revealed to you why you're not actually doing it. Here's where the fears reveal themselves of what do you not like about doing it? And so what's happening here, Craig, is that there's a part of yourself

⁓ aspect of yourself, part of your personality, part of your history that really doesn't think it's a good idea. Why? Because it's not safe. And this other part of yourself, it's usually like, if you ever heard the term, like an inner child, it's some experience you had, just like the one that I was listening to a story with my mother where at a certain age, I absorbed that story. It created a fear within inside of me.

I'm not thinking about that in my forties or fifties, but that part of myself would always be objectionable to anything that might risk being able to put food on my table. And so like it's embedded deep in a long time ago, and it's a lesson that you think you've learned. Now you don't think about it consciously because otherwise you'd be so overwhelmed with all of the lessons you think you've learned in your life that

You wouldn't be able to move forward with it. But these, whatever comes up on that list, when you ask yourself, now that I'm doing it, what bothers and concerns me now? This is when you're gonna start getting to the meat of the inaction of not going forward. And it's a long list and Craig, you can do this every day for a week to 10 days and you'll be able to come up with 10, 15 or 20 reasons every single day for two weeks.

of what bothers you about leaning in and taking action and beginning your calling. ⁓ Make sure I understood that. I want to go back second. So they imagine they're doing their calling. Right. Now that you're doing your calling, what bothers you now? Yeah. And so I'm thinking they're seeing themselves running this shelter that they always dreamed about. I'm seeing their

They went after their master's degree that they just knew that they should do. you know, name anything. They've become a certified welder, whatever it is. Exactly. And now they're doing it. What bothers you now? I'm curious to what kind of things do they put in there? OK, so it can be it can be it can be crazy. Look, now I'll tell you this. This is an and I get such fulfillment out of doing that workshop because you're seeing people confront something

that they have not thought about in possibly decades. And so I'll witness people crying and ⁓ coming to just a revelation, like, my God, I've never thought, I've never realized this was it. And I'll throw out some examples. I had one woman and she said, I had this deep fear that if I made more money than my husband, he would leave me. I just had a...

a dad who had been one of my clients. And he used this process because his 17 year old son who was really intelligent was doing poorly on his ACT testing to get into college next year. So his dad did this with him. And what it turned out to be was this teenager, right? So this starts early, was subconsciously thinking that if he did well on his ACT,

He would have more opportunities to go to better colleges all around the country, but it would mean leaving home and moving out from his mom and dad. He's the last child. So he was sabotaging his ACT scores so that he had to go to LSU and stay local. And he wasn't thinking about this. He wasn't realizing he was doing this on purpose. ⁓ Sometimes when it comes to

let's say the calling is going to lead to more prosperity. A lot of people will say, I'm afraid I'm really not a good money manager. And if this works and takes off, it'll actually lead to a worse situation as I mismanage this money and maybe accidentally get myself into more debt than I can handle. I can see Christians who misunderstand the scripture that

and quote the verse improperly that money is the root of all evil, which it doesn't say that, but now they're afraid, oh, if I do this, I don't love God anymore. Yes. Which isn't true. Which doesn't necessarily have to be true really, but I should say you could love God more because all of a sudden now you're doing what he created you to do. A lot of times, Craig, when it comes to like people creating something,

like helping people teaching a course, putting an online course, writing a book, it's a fear of criticism. It's like, well, I'm basically sticking my head up and saying, this is what I believe and that I'm gonna get online criticism or maybe people are mentioned in the book, somebody will recognize themselves even though I changed the name and they're gonna be hurt or insulted. The list just goes on. Fear of failure.

Yeah, it's a lot of times it's more fear of success, which I didn't even believe was a thing. But it is in the way of kind of like the woman who was holding herself back in her consulting career thinking, yeah, the fear of success was if I could succeed more than my husband, he would leave me. You know, once she said it out loud, she did admit it probably wasn't true, but she also had to admit it was there and it was a big hold.

on her. So, Craig, normally what I'll ask people, you know, I'll get somebody in the audience to stand up and if they're willing and share their entire list. And the reason I do is because they're very universal when you hear the real reasons that they're bothered by actually, you know, activating their calling. And these are the things that concern them now. You see a lot of heads.

you know, nodding up and down in agreement, like, yeah, me too. You see a lot of people feel like whatever someone else is saying, they have these same, you know, beliefs. And when you hear them all out loud, I can ask someone that said, well, now that you've heard this big long list of 15 reasons why actually taking action on your calling would lead to this much concern and worry.

Is there any doubt why you haven't lifted a finger or taken a step? It's daunting when you look at this list. Okay, so what's the good news, right? The good news is if you take this idea, right, this list of things that you're revealing to yourself, one, in simply saying them out loud, they lose a little bit of their grip in their teeth because they start to sound

You know, even when the woman says, yeah, I always thought if I made more money than my husband, he would leave me. You know, the whole room is looking back at her wondering, you know, is that really true? Most people sort of suspect that's not true. And even the woman herself is thinking, yeah, I don't know if that's really true. But as long as it's buried, it seems bigger and scarier and, know, it might be true. It's never as simple as a day.

No. It's buried. You suppress it and you don't have to think about it. I think that's why God wrote in Philippians 4, 6 through 9, be anxious for nothing. In other words, whatever is making you anxious, well, it's not right. There's something wrong if you're anxious. So he says, in everything but prayer, supplication with Thanksgiving, make your request known to God and the peace that surpasses all comprehension will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus. The idea is,

is that you pray, you give it to God. You quit wrestling with this thing, you quit fearing it, you give it to Him. What happens more often than not is people pray about it, they don't get peace, and they think God let them down. They don't know how to pray, or God's not faithful, whatever it is. But the problem is, it's not that at all. It's that we didn't do our job in prayer. Our job is give it to God. Let it go. Quit fearing it and trust God with it.

Because we don't do that, he comes back with verses eight and nine. Finally, brother, and whatever's true, whatever is honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good report to things that are excellent, worthy of praise. Let your mind dwell on these things. There needs to be a mind shift, a changing of the mind. Take those thoughts. It's interesting that he says, whatever is true is first on the list. Because it's usually the lie that holds us up. Yes. I've seen that so many times in my life.

And that lie is, well, I don't know how. I can't learn. I won't be good at. I can't. And it's that I can't thing that holds me up. If I can bring back to what is true, I want to say one more thing about what is true. Often...

We never look at what is true because we fear the truth. But when we do, we get set free. Jesus said, you'll know the truth and the truth will set you free. And I've seen that Albert so many times in my life and the thing that I said I can't do, if I do this, everyone will see how lame I really am. Whatever that thing is that holds me up. So I want it. I won't try it. I'm going to live the lie.

But when I step into the truth and say, maybe I should just do it and trust God, which that's what he wanted me to do all along. When I do it and trust God, I find that it was a lie. I find that he was there for me all along, equipping me to do the things that he created me to do before time began. Well, know, Craig, this is one reason why I get people to skip ahead. You know, you're talking about the

when I first say what's on your back burner, like, why do you think you haven't done it? And you know, and you're gonna get a lot of the, I don't know if it's ready yet, I don't know if I know enough, I don't know if I have the expertise. And while daunting, you know, that is, right? To just think, well, maybe I don't have what it takes.

When you put yourself into a mindset of imagining yourself actually doing it, and you see what's there, right? These deep seated, they're really what they are is their exaggerated sense of, their self-centered fears is what they are. And they have an exaggerated sense of importance. When you see these reasons, there's so much more powerful.

in a way that, yeah, if I really believe that, then I would never do it, even if I knew I could do it. So it's kind of like the first step of thinking you don't have what it takes is just ⁓ a small obstacle compared to these rooted beliefs that are 10 times stronger in keeping you in action. Now here's the good news.

You know, if you say these things out to another human being, and that's my prescription, is that you can't keep these to yourself. You can't even do this list in the privacy of, you your morning routine or whatever. It's not gonna do it. You really have to say them out loud to another human being. And not for them to encourage you or say, no, Craig, that's not true. I know you can do it. That's not actually helpful. What's helpful is for me to listen.

to what you say and just say, hey, thanks for sharing. It's the fact that you're voicing these things out loud that aren't true. That's it. That starts to diminish the hold they have on you. That's it. It's part of speaking the truth. It is so, it's right. When you say the truth, you can, you said this a while ago, you recognize, wait, no one in this room is gonna say, that's, that's.

Yeah, of course you're no good. Yeah, of course you're going to fail if you do. Of course your husband's going to leave you if you start. Of course. No one's going to say that. No. But you said it and soon as you said it, you're able to realize that's a lie. Yes. That's the beauty of it, isn't it? It is. You can hear it's a lie when you say it out loud. You start to realize, you know, it's a lie and certainly everyone who hears it without a doubt.

knows it's a lie. ⁓ So, you know, in the book, I say, find a burner buddy, you know, to do this with and if they're if they're doing it too, it's it's even more powerful. It's really interesting. You know, being a coach, you probably know this, Craig, you don't coach your wife, you know, do you avoid coaching your wife? You know, it's like a prescription for not a happy marriage. Yeah. To try to teach your wife all your wisdom like that. ⁓

whatever you're doing. But anyway, she overheard me doing this with clients and she tapped me on the shoulder and said, hey, what is that you're doing? You know, I want you to share that with me. And it was the most powerful marital bonding exercise we had probably ever done. Because when she told me what her goal was, and then when I heard what would bother her about following her calling, I was...

I had never heard her mention these things. I mean, obviously she's not even really realizing they're there. It just gave me so much empathy for, you know, what she was dealing with. And then the same when I read my list to her, she shook her head and said, I had no idea this is what you were thinking. And we did it every day together for two weeks. And it really just, it was like things we had never talked about as a couple. And look, I'm telling you this, Craig, at the time, we had been married for,

you know, almost 30 years. And it was just things that we didn't know about each other. And ⁓ it was super powerful. it can be between a couple or I've also had people just random two people connected together to do this little exercise, you know, in a group of people who have become lifelong best friends. There's just something so human. ⁓

like bonding and connection is when you're just admitting these false beliefs to each other and just recognizing that they're not true in each other. It's incredible, honestly. Bonding's the right word. I see that. That's awesome. Albert, what would you say to the person that's living right now? I know for the sake of time, I need to ask a couple of questions you can give them help to. The person's listening right now and they said, I already know what's on my back burner.

What would you tell them? How, what would you tell them to do? Your first step today, you need to take a step today. If you want to tell them to do, that's fine. What do they need to do? Yeah, I would, I would say, imagine it's going along to going concerned. It's happening. Whatever the thing is, it's done. It's in motion and really be honest with yourself and say, you know, explore your heart. What would you not like? What is uncomfortable about that?

What's causing you concern and anxiety about imagining yourself actually living like that? And they will be on their way. If they look at that list, they at least have a, I guess a point of attack. I hate to use that word really, because I don't really think that's accurate, but you at least start to reveal to yourself what are the subconscious holds from taking action.

And to know that whatever comes up, they're self-centered fears, they're exaggerated. They're not really true and they have an exaggerated sense of an importance and it's what keeps you from taking action, from leaning towards it. Now, the good news is, you know, if you read this out loud every day for a week or 10 days to another person.

What you find is you have no more discipline than you had before. You're not a super version of yourself. You don't have any more wisdom than you did before. But what you'll find is that as you've sort of ⁓ evaporated those false beliefs, just at least at first by speaking of them out loud, you'll find yourself just taking these little mini micro actions, you know, calling someone.

that needs to be called or seeing someone setting up an appointment or taking some writing the first chapter of your book, you just find yourself effortlessly leaning in the direction of your calling all of a sudden. And those little micro actions I find create its own momentum. And then you'll find like if you did make an appointment with somebody you follow through when you go to the appointment and they say something to you or connect you with someone else who has

is interested in the same thing or as part of the resources that you would need to make your project happen. And then this divine order, sequence of events starts to unfold and reveal itself. And that momentum turns into a wind in your sail. And you really just find that you're rolling along before you know it and things are happening. And then you look up and you're like, wow, this is really happening.

And then it takes a life of its own because now you're infused with your purpose and the Holy Spirit and you're motivated and you're excited and you become enthusiastic. that's why I talk about, it's really motivating to get going like this. I hear you not saying, and I think it's important to say for others, you're not telling anyone, ⁓ you got this calling, quit your job, go do it right now.

You're saying acknowledge it. That's the first thing it do acknowledge it think about it process the lies that are keeping you from it and then just let them lead you step by step in the direction that God wants you to go So is that a spare? Yeah and look and I'm gonna tie this in a bow for you Craig because you know It doesn't necessarily mean you quit your job and go some do something different. So remember the salon that was falling apart, you know

and becoming empty. I got up from that hammock that day. I put that book down. didn't read past chapter six and I went back up there. And what I noticed was that I had really neglected the place. know, there were light bulbs that were out. were the latch on the women's bathroom stall was hanging down. Somebody couldn't lock it from the inside. The fountain was filled with algae. And I realized that I had really stopped

⁓ filling my present place. You know, I wasn't pouring my heart into it. And so my first step was just to go back to the salon and change the light bulbs and clean the fountain and fix the latch. But while I was there, an epiphany came to me that the reason that people were leaving here wasn't because they weren't great hairstylists or doing good work. It was really because they just had no foundation of how to run a small business. And that was something I had a ton of expertise in.

And so I started teaching classes every week to the stylists who were there that wanted to come. And the unexpected part, Craig, was their sales doubled and in some cases tripled or more as a result of coming and just learning the basics. And when I ran out of things to say on basic business wisdom, I started bringing in the people who were at the salon that had been doing it for decades and were masters of the craft.

they volunteered to teach a class. And so then they were given specific ⁓ instruction and helpful tips on running a beauty business that I had never heard because I was never a hairstylist or a barber. was basically a landlord before this just renting space to them. But what the epiphany was, this is not a rent extraction facility where I'm a landlord and my job is just to make these people pay rent.

The real change in me was that, I see, this is a ⁓ business development center. This is an incubator. And what it requires is love and support and to bring the resources in that these people need to become a successful business owner. And Craig, within a matter of four months, the place was completely full, mainly because those people who started making more money with the education they were getting,

were bragging to their friends about how well they were doing and they were just coming out of the woodwork to wanna be a part of the place. And prior to this, I spent thousands of dollars advertising to try to keep up with the attrition of people moving out. And from that moment on, I never spent a single penny on advertising, it was just word of mouth and I ended up with a waiting list. And really what it ended up leading to, and this is the part I didn't know,

This was before coaching or anything, right? I realized that I was a teacher and how much I enjoyed and how fulfilling the teaching was. And so I didn't change businesses. I didn't quit. didn't go do something else and say, well, maybe I should open a restaurant instead. No, it was me shifting my perspective about my current situation. I didn't have to change anything else except my perspective.

of what I was doing there and what I'm supposed to be doing there. And so the reason it was a blessing is because it led to the desire to speak publicly and to join Toastmasters and get on stage and then tell stories and then host retreats and then write books. But all of that came out of that business potentially failing and then following it enough.

you know, following those first little footsteps towards my calling to just realize what my calling truly was. Amen. I love it, Albert. You remind me of something that I teach about David. David was a shepherd boy tending sheep. ⁓ Who would have thought God was going to use that tending sheep as a platform to prepare him with the skills that he would need.

take down a giant and become a national hero and ultimately be promoted to the king of a nation. So I tell people everywhere, take your craft, whatever it is, give it to glorify God, become as good as you can, give yourself to perfect your craft for God's glory. If you do that, one day you will discover God's already crafted the perfect opportunity for you to glorify Him. So it doesn't necessarily mean change anything.

Just do what you're doing at your best and watch God show up. Albert, this has been a lot of fun. I've enjoyed it. I think it's been extremely helpful for those that here to wrap it up today. Tell people where they can get your book, tell the title again. We'll have everything inside the notes, by the way, even the book that you mentioned with the quote in it. I'll put that all in there, links for everyone. How can they stay in touch with you? So the one stop shop to...

get everything that you would need from me is backburnerbook.com. And there's a link on there to take you to Amazon to get the book. It's what's on your back burner using dormant desire to relight your fire. And then there's also a little button on there. You get into it and you need some help sort of figuring out how to answer these questions or what to do next. There's a link on there. You can do a free coaching session with me and I'll help you get moving on that as well.

Well, I think the people that follow me will enjoy this practical talk that you've done today. I've enjoyed it. It's been a blast. Albert, thanks so much for joining me. Thank you, Craig. It's always fun to talk with you. God bless.